I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize