Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
