I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Drunk is not a location!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
