Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
