You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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