there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
