I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
