she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
