If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
