it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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