then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He passed out mid-signature
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
