I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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