Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
