escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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