she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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