i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
