5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize