just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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