Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
