im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize