My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
