so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
