i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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