totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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