He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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