He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize