we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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