what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pants are for mortals
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
