I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
tell me about the eggs
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