Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have fence marks all over my body
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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