Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
