Sry I called you an 8
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
