we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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