I CAN MOONWALK!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
