i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
