Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
