Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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