# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
