he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
All I want is dick and wine.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
