I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
