Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
