I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
