Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
