**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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