Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
