Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She's the barista slut.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
