Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ttyl tear gas
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
