just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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