let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
