I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
