Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
