so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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