Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
