I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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