What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
