soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
