just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
