I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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